A Cherished Father-in-Law
Apu was a part of my life for forty years, the same amount of time as my own father. We met in 1980 when I had first begun dating his son, Paul, whom I later married in 1984. He was an extraordinarily caring and generous man, as well as being an intellectual force. I remember feeling a little intimidated in those earliest years by his extensive knowledge of history and current events, although we shared many common interests and also bonded wickedly over the occasional after-dinner cigarette before we both kicked the habit. He was both creative and industrious, putting his woodworking skills to good use making bathtub boats for any number of children in his life, but most especially his grandson, our son Alexander. The number of car trips he and Anyu (Susanna) made to DC to see his namesake would be hard to count, and they always pulled up with a carload of homemade jams, cheese sticks and pastries, along with hard-to-find Canadian goodies. So many projects around our home bear his stamp - he is everywhere around us.
At their home in Ottawa - the only one of theirs that I ever knew - he and Susanna were often in the kitchen baking or preparing meals together, framed in the pass-through window to the family room. The house brimmed with plants, an interior jungle tended by grow lights and Apu's always-green thumb. Outdoors, the deep backyard held a panoply of colorful flowers and a large vegetable garden at the rear, with the front yard dominated by a grove of fruit trees. Besides the ever-present squirrels, a succession of animals graced their lives together - most recently a neighbor's cat Blackster, but especially their last official pet, a beloved black near-lab "Miska," whose grave held pride of place just behind the home.
In Apu's presence I always felt welcomed and cherished. I hope he always felt the same with me.
- Carol Grigsby, daughter-in-law, Washington, D.C.
Posted by Carol Grigsby
Wednesday May 13, 2020 at 4:47 pm
