Eulogy for Sheila at the Church Resurrection of our Lord on November 26th 2020, by Ann Sutherland
Sheila Catherine Sutherland (nee Drury) December 2nd and 3rd 1927 - November 18 2020
I first want to welcome everyone here today. These are different times that have kept us apart in person. But with these times, we have virtual attendance and I know that out there, are the Lafaves, Drurys, Pares, Walshs, Sutherlands, Manions, Kirbys, Foghs, Salters, Darby and Dawson- and more, so welcome…and hope you are not still in your pajamas, though mom would have thought that was so awesome!
Let me begin the story of Sheila Catherine Drury-Sutherland:
As a child, Sheila’s fondest memory was going to the Wizard of Oz at the movie theatre in Montreal. She was so amazed by the story, the colours, the music, that she stayed in the theatre and watched the next one… and the next one…. and the next one… and the next one. Granny Drury did not know where Sheila was and so the police were dispatched to find her. Later on, Sheila wandered home only to her find her mother very angry with her and the police relieved. She was however, still keenly satisfied about her chance to have seen that marvelous movie to her heart’s contentment.
And so began Sheila’s journey on her Yellow Brick Road. Her Munchkin land was her wonderful family. Her father was James Drury, the famous owner of Drury’s Restaurant, where the well-heeled dined across from the Windsor Station. He was an extraordinary athlete too, having won world medals in speed skating and cycling. And her mother Eileen was a lovely fun lady who was a wiz at poker. Sheila had 2 sisters Peggy Lafave and Audrey Pare and 2 brothers, Bob and John Drury. The sisters enjoyed dancing at the Ritz or the Chateau Laurier to the Benny Goodman Band many times; all dressed up in gorgeous gowns, they knew how to have a good time!
Though Sheila was schooled by nuns, she still pooled funds for cigarettes with her classmates…and lost a few smokes to Granny who found them and said nothing. She would talk about “lent” at school where they would all give up looking in the mirror for 40 days, but still attempted to put ruby red lipstick on. And she also skated in a quartet or quintet, I can’t remember which, with whom she would perform on outdoor rinks.
Mom’s siblings remained very close well into their senior years. I believe it was Sheila and cousin Elaine who started the family reunions beginning in Lake Placid eons ago, that has allowed our generation and the next to keep in touch in a meaningful way. Sheila also spent time with her siblings travelling around Europe, With Bob Lafave visiting in London with great ideas to bring home to Canada, Paul and Audrey timing their trip to be my Godparents, Audrey and Thelma trapesing through Provence in search for the best table clothes, and Audrey and Peggy leisurely enjoying Brussels in all its glory. And if not in Europe, they would all land in Florida on the golf courses there!
Sheila and her siblings also spent much time in Val Morin…. well we all did. Our whole family, and to my knowledge we were pretty well related to everyone around the lake. Cousins cousins, married and older cousins, cousins’ kids, cousins’ parents and cousins. I could remember walking down the road to the depanneur for a Dr Pepper, and someone yelled out “I don’t know your name, but you look like a Drury…you look just like Sheila.”! That was my first-time hearing that, though it would not be the last. Even last week, a new nurse came in and said to me “OMG you look just like your mother”! (I know this is all about Sheila, but can we just take a moment for me here? I was told I look just like a 93-year-old on maybe, not her best day!) But I digress…
Val Morin was a cottage frozen in time…there were no dishwashers except for Michael Carol and me, there was no real washing machine to speak of, the kitchen floor was sideways, the water had a distinct mineral smell, it was very cold in the mornings and so you would go out onto the front steps with your breakfast to warm up in the sun, and Sheila and Ron, or Sheila and Betty would happily manage the magical place…that is how I remembered it.
Sheila’s mother, granny Drury would lead great poker games, lots of smoking, and much Gin and Drambuie. I remember mom letting me stay up late there, if there was a Humphrey Bogart movie on the TV…. the tv that had somewhat of a reception…the Lafaves next door had the good tv!
Val Morin was really Sheila’s happy place with her brothers and sisters. And Two weeks shy of her 93rd birthday, Sheila outlived all of her siblings.
Sheila met my father Ron while they were in their mid 20s. Ron graduated from Loyola College and was the quarterback of its football team. In preparation for their wedding, Sheila discovered on her birth certificate that her birthday was not Dec 2nd as she had always thought but rather December 3rd. From then on, she would celebrate both days, mostly because she couldn’t remember which one was her real birthday! Sheila also said that a woman who tells her age would tell anything! But on the subject of ageing, just like her siblings, Sheila never dyed her hair and only had a small sprinkling of grey hairs, making her look much younger than she actually was.
Sheila and Ron had the 4 of us: Peter, Ken, me and Michael. With an 11-year span from youngest to oldest, Sheila went to “parent teacher meetings” …. for about 22 years!
Her Sunday night dinners were always so delicious. You could smell them as you walked in the door and Sheila would always say that the aroma was the first course. Gin and tonic was at 5pm sharp and we were always taught to say “would you like a drink” not “would you like another”. She whistled all day long a happy tune of no particular origin, but distinctly hers. She declared that she could “not sew a button” and so would not attempt to. She once tried to knit a sweater for Peter and finished it for me… 9 years later!
True munchkins started to pop up everywhere starting with Peter and Linda’s daughter Jennifer, Ken and Maribeth’s kids Jessica, Joey and Hannah… Tom and my kids, Darby and Dawson….and Michael and Manny’s girls, Samantha and Sarah. Recent weddings in the clan include Peter and Pauline, and Jessica and Phil. The latter gave birth this year to Sheila’s first Lollipop Kid, Ben! Sheila loved every single minute with her grandkids and the grandkids loved her ….and her brownies! She would tell them the story of the Wizard of Oz on long car rides, and have the kids mesmerized. Though on one occasion as Darby and Dawson settled into a nice long story telling, Sheila said Dorothy’s house landed on the wicked witch and then Glenda told Dorothy to click her heels 3 times and say there was no place like home…the end!
Sheila’s Emerald City was filled with golf at the Hylands and thousands of bridge games with many, many wonderful lifelong friends like Betty Davies, Liz Sliter, Daphne Kirby, Silvia Manion and many more! And still reunited yearly with her high school friends too, including Martha Fogh. With her friends, mom would have endless times of laughter, the kind where she would laugh so hard that she had tears rolling down and could not speak.
Sheila was also a dedicated volunteer with the Maycourt in Ottawa and wore her pink smock with pride.
She was an adventurous traveler, having lived in Quebec for a year, England for a total of 7 years with a young family (where Queen Elisabeth had the opportunity to meet Sheila), and Brussels for 4 years in the twilight years of Ron’s career. Imagine leaving the quiet streets of Ottawa to take on the congested roads and aggressive drivers of Brussels at the age of 65. That was no issue for Sheila and we should pity the drivers who challenged her for those rare parking spaces.
During their time in Brussels, Ron and Sheila became closer to their dear friends Betty and Larry Davies. They also became antique experts and returned with skills to parley this into an antique business upon their return. They both would enjoy finding valuables at flea markets to flip into the open market…. if they could bear to let anything go! One of their interesting finds they never parted with were the collection of Wizard of Oz sequel books by Frank Baum: The Road to Oz, Journeys Through Oz, The Magic of Oz, and others.
Sheila will be remembered for her smile, her love of life and friends and music. She was always “delighted”. She was delighted with a visit, a meal that she did not cook, a grandchild’s art, an antique find, a sale at The Bay, fresh laundry and more.
Having lost her leg a few years ago and living with Alzheimer’s, Sheila still had a good sense of humour and a twinkle in her eye. At the Perley Rideau residence, she had won the Halloween costume contest dressed as…. Dorothy (of course), with a wig and a checkered blue dress, Toto in a basket and one ruby slipper.
On my last visit with Sheila last week, I played from my iPhone, the Benny Goodman Band song “In the Mood”, ta ta da da da…, and though Sheila was not lucid, she squeezed my hand to the beat…she was still dancing!
And that evening Ken looked up at the song playing on the TV and said “Mom, its Benny Goodman, playing in Brussels and the song is called “Goodbye”” …and that it was during that song that she took her last breath.
There is No Place Like Home and Sheila made ours full of love. We will miss her dearly. She is now with Ron and her departed friends….
Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
End
The family wishes to extend heartfelt gratitude to the dedicated caregivers she had the pleasure to know through the years including Corina, Laura, Eva, Norma, Elizabeth, Mavis, Esmee, and to the many staff at the Perley and Rideau Veterans' Health Centre for their unwavering dedication to her care and to others during these unprecedented times. In lieu of flowers, a donation to the
Perley and Rideau Veterans' Health Centre or the
Alzheimer Society is welcomed.